Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
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Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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