Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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