remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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