Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
