Pappa wants mamma naked
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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