he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My penis needs a shock collar
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize