If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
