Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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