Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
being pregnant is like rehab
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
