If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
