No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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