the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
