i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
