we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have aggressive nipples.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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