I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize