it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
