I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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