quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
