super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
