It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
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Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
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Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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