I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
