ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
