The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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