Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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