New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
