Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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