I faked an abortion last night.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
