Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
