We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
