I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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