its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize