Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
