Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
