mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize