i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
