i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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