I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
