i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
