Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize