Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
