I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
