College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
