naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
