i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
