she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
