You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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