is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
