so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
tell me about the fingering
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