Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
