no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
not ubering you a puppy
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
