so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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