walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
