Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
