just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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