carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
