There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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