She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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