No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
