I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
