Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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