honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
