Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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