He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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