we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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