well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
farters have to be the big spoon...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
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just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
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You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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