You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
